Joy to [my] World

The holiday season is upon us, and for a lot of people, it is a magical time of family, food, fun, and traditions. These are times when most people will think back to their childhoods and reflect on memories that usually make them feel "warm and fuzzy": the cool gift they received that one year, the time spent in the kitchen making cookies with someone special, the singing Christmas carols in the car while looking at Christmas lights, the holiday parties where people sung and danced, etc. 

For a lot of people, though, the holidays can be a difficult time. It can make us think about any losses we've experienced, the "would have beens" and the "should have beens". We think about the person we lost who passed away or the relationship we lost for one reason or another or even how unsafe our own family made us feel. Instead of this time being "the most wonderful time of the year", it just kind of feels "meh".  All the losses we've experienced tend to hit a little harder, which can lead to some of us trying to "get through" these months and sometimes trying our best to avoid them.  

While it's not necessary to partake in all the festivities, there are things we can do to create our own "holiday cheer" and bring joy to our world during this time. We can change the narrative of the holidays and make these moments something we look forward to instead. A few ways you can do this are:

Create your own traditions- There is no one "right" way to do the holidays. There are things we can do by ourselves or with friends that mean something to us. This can range from volunteering at your local soup kitchen or participating in an Angel Tree to having your own Charlie Brown Christmas Tree or no tree! Think of something you'll want to do each year that is important to you.

Prepare something you enjoy eating- Who says that Turkey and Ham are required? Personally, I look forward to the eating part of the holidays. It wouldn't be as enjoyable if there wasn't food I loved to eat, especially the food from my parents' native country. Whatever you enjoy, prepare it! And if cooking and baking isn't your thing or something you feel like doing, then order in! Just have something you look forward to eating. 

Utilize the supports you do have- Sure, we think "family" when we think of holidays but quite honestly, a lot of our friends are closer to us than our actual families! Ask them to do something together that you enjoy or to tag along to something they like to do. Be intentional with who you surround yourself with!    

Take time for yourself- Whatever this looks like for you, make sure you take time for yourself. The holidays can be a busy and overwhelming season, so take a moment to pause and lean into your self care. This can be RSVPing "no" to an event, taking a nap, reading that book you've wanted to read, finally getting that massage you've been wanting to get, etc. Remember, it's not "selfish", it's self-careish!

Practice gratitude- I find that sometimes, when we are reminded of the things we don't have, we may experience more negative thoughts and feelings. While those feelings are completely valid, I think there can still be space to reflect on the things we do have and are thankful for. Write 5 things each day that you are grateful for. 

This list isn't an "end all, be all" list but it can become a fresh start. I hope you create your own traditions and positive memories and have something to look forward to during this time.